1997年，心理學(xué)家 Arthur Aron 及其團(tuán)隊(duì)擬定了一份問(wèn)卷，列出36道問(wèn)題，名為「人際親密感產(chǎn)生試驗(yàn)」，宣稱可以快速讓兩個(gè)陌生人間的親密度大大增加。

問(wèn)題設(shè)計(jì)之初，是用于陌生人之間產(chǎn)生好感和親密感的實(shí)驗(yàn)研究中，在實(shí)驗(yàn)室內(nèi)將參加實(shí)驗(yàn)的人兩兩分組（大學(xué)生），實(shí)驗(yàn)用時(shí)大約45分鐘，彼此回答設(shè)計(jì)好的36道問(wèn)題（問(wèn)題分為3組，每組12題）。

最后以相互對(duì)視4分鐘作為結(jié)束實(shí)驗(yàn)。

有意思的是實(shí)驗(yàn)結(jié)果：

30%的人在聊完以下問(wèn)題后，立即表示彼此之間的關(guān)系已經(jīng)變得比人生中的任何一段關(guān)系都要深；

跟蹤調(diào)查，隔了一段時(shí)間后，37%的人上課時(shí)選擇坐在一起；35％的人已經(jīng)開始約會(huì)了；

半年后，還有一對(duì)結(jié)婚了。

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

如果你可以選擇世界上任何一個(gè)人，你想讓誰(shuí)做你晚餐的客人呢?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

你想出名嗎?以哪種方式?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

在打電話之前，你有沒有排練過(guò)你想要說(shuō)的話?為什么?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

你的完美一天由什么組成?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

你最后一次獨(dú)自唱歌是什么時(shí)候?最后一次和別人一起唱歌是什么時(shí)候?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

如果你能活到90歲，在你人生最后60年里，你想擁有30歲的大腦還是身體?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

你有想過(guò)你會(huì)怎么死嗎?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

舉出你和我的三個(gè)共同之處。

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

在你的人生中什么讓你最感激?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

如果你能改變你成長(zhǎng)的方式，你會(huì)去改變什么?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

用四分鐘，盡可能詳盡地告訴我你一生的故事。

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

如果你明天一覺醒來(lái)，擁有了某種新的品質(zhì)或者能力，那會(huì)是什么呢?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

如果水晶球能告訴你關(guān)于你自己、你的人生、未來(lái)或者任何其他事情的真相，你想知道什么?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

有沒有某樣?xùn)|西/某件事讓你魂?duì)繅?mèng)繞很久卻沒有實(shí)現(xiàn)的呢?為什么還沒做呢?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

你一生最大的成就是什么?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

友誼中你最珍惜的是什么?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

你最珍貴的記憶是什么?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

你最糟糕的記憶是什么?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

如果你知道一年后你會(huì)突然死去，你會(huì)改變現(xiàn)在的生活方式嗎?為什么?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

友誼對(duì)你意味著什么?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

愛情和感情在你的人生中起了什么作用?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

分享你認(rèn)為我身上的5個(gè)優(yōu)點(diǎn)。

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

你的家庭多親密?你覺得自己的童年比大多數(shù)人都快樂嗎?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

你覺得你和母親的關(guān)系怎么樣?

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

分別造三句“我們”的句子。例如，“我們同時(shí)在這個(gè)房間，感覺……”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

完成這句句子：“我希望我有一個(gè)能和他分享……的人。”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

如果你想和我成為親密的朋友，請(qǐng)分享你認(rèn)為很重要并一定要我知曉的事情。

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

告訴我你喜歡我的什么;一定要中肯誠(chéng)實(shí)，不要說(shuō)那些和第一次見面的陌生人就能說(shuō)的泛泛之談。

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

分享給我你一生中一個(gè)尷尬的瞬間。

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

你最近一次在別人面前哭是什么時(shí)候?被誰(shuí)弄哭的?還是自己哭的?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

告訴我你已經(jīng)喜歡我的一點(diǎn)。

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

什么樣的玩笑不能開?(如果有的話)

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

如果今晚你要死了，卻沒有機(jī)會(huì)和任何人交流，你最后悔沒有告訴某人什么事?你為什么到現(xiàn)在為止沒有說(shuō)呢?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

如果你的家(包括你的所有財(cái)產(chǎn))著火了。在救了愛的人和寵物外，你還有時(shí)間安全地再?zèng)_進(jìn)去撿回一個(gè)東西。會(huì)是什么呢?為什么?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

家中所有的人中，誰(shuí)的死會(huì)讓你最不安?為什么?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

我會(huì)和你講一個(gè)很私人化的問(wèn)題，請(qǐng)你換位思考告訴我如果是你、你會(huì)如何處理。你覺得我在面對(duì)這個(gè)問(wèn)題的時(shí)候是什么感覺呢?

36道問(wèn)題自我暴露程度由淺及深，

而自我暴露是關(guān)系發(fā)展的核心，自我暴露的程度越高，關(guān)系間的親密水平就越高。

問(wèn)題中引導(dǎo)測(cè)驗(yàn)者關(guān)注彼此的美好品質(zhì)和經(jīng)歷；

看到對(duì)方脆弱的部分，逐漸看到彼此其他部分，意識(shí)到不完美才是真實(shí)的；

能夠真誠(chéng)的表達(dá)彼此的贊美和愛意，不僅促進(jìn)彼此的關(guān)系，也能更多的讓我們了解自己，把注意力放在自己身上。

或許我們并不著急，一次就回答完這所有的題目，這不是考試，也沒有成績(jī)，可以當(dāng)做增進(jìn)感情的小游戲，也可以當(dāng)做彼此共同探索和成長(zhǎng)需要了解的部分人生。 

以上內(nèi)容來(lái)自官方公眾號(hào)：曉然心理